The very unfortunate, untimely (and disgusting) Demise of Squawk

OBITUARY
12/25/08-1/7/09
Squawkers McCaw has returned to the Toy Land in the sky. "Squawk" was a talkin', squawkin' and totally unpredictable play pal. This plush-plumed bird responded to Kylie with more than 45 words, phrases and silly sound effects (like whistles and farts). Kylie could record additional words and phrases and then train Squawkers McCaw to talk back, just like a real parrot. He also danced to his signature song, "Squawk, Squawk, Squawk" as well as to other tunes. He was able to switch between speech, dance and singing modes. He will be greatly missed by Kylie and Kaiden and not so much by older siblings and parents. He is survived by many other toys who are very grateful to have avoided his fate.

*WARNING* If you have a weak stomach (like Kenny and Kendall) DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!!! You have been warned.

Poor Kylie. Her most beloved toy is gone. It really is a sad sad story. Let's start at the beginning.
She received squawk for Christmas last year.  For some unknown reason I thought this would be a great toy for my animal loving daughter.  I soon found out that in the history of annoying, noise making toys, Squawk is pretty close to the top. For whatever reason, he became the most beloved toy of Kylie, and to her despair, Kaiden too. This toy has gone everywhere! She slept with it, took it to school for show and tell numerous times, and she even tried to sneak him to church. He sat at the table as guardian over her food and she even paid me a few pennies to babysit him one afternoon.

Whenever Kaiden got a hold of Squawk, he carried him all over the house. The bird was well loved. It was apparent by his condition... Paint rubbed off his beak, one foot missing, crushed fur, dying batteries making him sound like a freaky, evil, scary movie toy.
Fast forward to the tragedy at hand-  Kaiden was carrying Squawk around last night. He has been potty training and has yet to go number two in the toilet. On this fateful evening he decided he had to go. And when you gotta go, YOU GOTTA GO!  Kaiden ripped off his pants and underwear, jumped off my bed to make a run to the bathroom to go number two and didn't quite make it. What does squawk have to do with this you might ask? Well, Kaiden took Squawk with him and the number two that landed ALL OVER THE BATH RUG was what Squawk was accidentally dropped in, and we are talking more than just a little spot or two.
Long story endless..... Kaiden crying, Squawk covered in poo, Me at work, Kelsey trying to clean it up, Kenny sees it and dry heaves, Kendall hears about it and dry heaves, Kaiden still crying, Kelsey cleaned the mess, Kenny dry heaves all the way to the dumpster with Squawk, Kylie...DEVASTATED.
The family came up for dinner at my work and poor Kylie was so sad. Kaiden was sad that he ruined Squawk. It was an emotional dinner.
And so we say "farewell" to Squawk. (I don't think I can hold out not buying another...she is just so sad about it)